DAY TWENTY NINE ~ MEETING TWENTY NINE
POWERLESSNESS
The topic from the meeting today came from the OA basic text, page 157. It said:
"We are powerless over obtaining discipline, over controlling food, over ourselves, over other persons and situations."
I get reminded that I am powerless on a daily basis. My husband and I had an argument last night (really we don't fight quite as much as it seems) and that just brought home the fact that I cannot control him or anyone else. Then, I proceeded to eat something I shouldn't have last night, mostly because I let myself get so angry and out-of-sorts. So, I saw again that I am powerless over controlling food or myself. Why didn't I stop and ask God for help? You know I thought of it, but I didn't want to. I wanted to eat that food. I just wanted to and Kim gets what she wants when she wants it, right?
We had a scare with the pregnancy today. I haven't felt movement since two days ago and I finally called the midwives. The whole way there, I prayed, knowing that what was going to be was going to be and had already been decided by God. Luckily, everything turned out okay, but boy, did the powerlessness hit home in that situation. There is nothing that I can do, other than to rely on HP to help me through each and every situation and decision in my life.
Until tomorrow ~
I'm Kim
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