DAY TWENTY EIGHT ~ MEETING TWENTY EIGHT
What harm does it do to cling to my old ways of thinking and acting?
Somehow the topics at the meetings always seem to fit the situation that I find myself in that day. This was an end of the day meeting and it was sorely needed. Maybe if I had had the meeting in the morning, my day would have gone differently, but I doubt it. See, during my tirade (once again at my husband) I even thought about praying, but did I? Nooooo….of course not. That would've been the right thing to do.
When I find myself back into my old ways I know that I am headed down this dark road that will only lead to despair. Today, when I started by trying to explain myself calmly, I felt all the old feelings from last spring welling up inside me. Well, I know where those feelings and actions got me (the psychiatric ward of the hospital) and somehow I was able to stifle them. I don't know if I realized what I was doing at the moment though, because my thoughts just go to what I want and to heck with how others feel or what they want. I really dislike myself when I act that way.
I listened to a dear friend and spent some serious time with God tonight. I paid precise attention during the meeting and I feel much better for having done both. I know that I can handle this, but only with help from others. If I had tried to do it alone, I would have been back into the food that it is so easy to slip into when I want a "soother" in my life. Thank God for friends and for meetings.
Until tomorrow ~
I'm Kim
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